Resources mentioned
Ponies Against Fascism textbanking (final one is this Sunday 1-3PM PST!)
“I feel like I should have more friends currently less than five, but I don’t want any/know how to”
“I think, first of all if you’re someone who’s prone to small groups of friends, or not a lot of friends, it’s good when you make new friends to say to that person, I’m not great at hanging out. I’m a hermit. I like to be at home, alone, and do my own thing. It’s really hard for me to keep a schedule with friend hangs. I don’t think that makes someone flaky - that’s my hot take - I think it’s ok to be someone who - especially in the year 2020, especially with the election coming up - it’s ok to be stressed and have a hard time making plans and keeping them. If you make new friends, tell them your boundaries around friendships.”
“I’m struggling with sustainability in Covid. A lot of grocery stores you aren’t actually allowed to bring your own bags, if we’re getting food out, have to take it to go, we can’t bring our own plates or tupperware because of keeping things safe and Covid protocols. Any advice?”
“How do we give a little bit of grace to ourselves, a little permission to everyone is in this together, we’re all struggling? How do we respect essential workers, people who are going to work and are around people all day? Remembering yes, should we be in service to earth? I think it’ about giving ourselves grace, knowing we’re all doing our best. I told my partner I was doing my best the other day and she was like, I’m not doing my best. I loved that dissection of that phrase, that it’s actually ok - I was so pleased by that permission of, and we’re not all doing our best. My best is not supported by the current political administration or a global pandemic or my current mental health situation. ”
“I went on an amazing date on Friday, texted yesterday, and haven’t heard back. Do they hate me now? Lol. When should I text again? Yes, I’m this basic.”
“What’s the worst that could happen? The worst is that they hate you. That just means they’re not the person for you, right? When we start to spin out about does this person like me - so far in my life, in the 32 years I’ve been alive, anyone who hated me or didn’t like me anymore, I haven’t missed their presence. So let’s say this person hates you, that’s ok. Cuz somebody else is going to really like you and think you’re freaking awesome. Or maybe they have great phone boundaries. Or they’re totally in love with you and don’t know what to say back. Or they’re maybe just not into it. It’s ok to fantasize about starting a life with someone who you just met on Friday and it’s Sunday and they haven’t texted you back yet and you’re not sure if they hate you or are ready to marry you. I think what you’re experiencing is normal. I’d send a follow up text on Monday with clear requests and boundaries.”
“How to pursue wholeness when no one around you is?”
“I’m a big fan of only taking care of our side of the street. What a blessing that you are dedicated to wholeness. Every one around you is not sharing in that dedication or commitment to growth, healing, putting the pieces back together, whatever it is...that’s not any of your business. I don’t mean that in a harsh way. I hope that gives you great freedom. When I believe in my wholeness and am dedicated to that process, I would say generally those who surround me in community partnership - romantic, platonic partnership - are also seeking wholeness. And that’s not because I asked them to or explained it to them, or demanded that they meet me there, it was actually because I completely let go of their experience in the world.”